Why Monogamy Is Sexy

Swans do it. Wolves do it. Even Gibbon apes do it. And sometimes humans do it, too.

There’s something incredibly attractive about monogamy. Once we’ve done a bit of looking, most humans will single out one mate and well, mate with them the rest of their lives. Once we’re in a monogamous relationship, we find it beyond appealing when we see our mate practicing it by acknowledging boundaries and protecting the relationship.

As an example of this, I always admired the great actors Paul Newman and his wife Joanne Woodward for their long-standing marriage and their willingness to further it by practicing and acknowledging their passion for one another.

Here’s a quote from Paul, may he rest in peace.

“I don’t like to discuss my marriage, but I will tell you something which may sound corny but which happens to be true. I have steak at home. Why should I go out for hamburger?”

OK, so here’s a guy who’s not only saying he’s going to be faithful because he should be. He’s saying “Why would I want to cheat? I have the best!” I’m sure this attitude helped foster security in his wife and I can guarantee you she didn’t worry about his behavior around other women.

So why is monogamy or fidelity so sexy? Well, it’s sexy probably for the same reasons that paying the bills, showing up on time, and doing what you say you’re going to do is sexy. Being dependable, and making the right decisions is always in season.

When I was younger, I used to think that being in love was enough. I assumed that the euphoria that comes with falling in love was enough to carry an individual for the rest of his life. The truth is, love is a choice. This goes for any relationship, not just a romantic one. And you have to make it every day, several times a day.